The Teething Fairy (yes you read that right)

Teething. Nobody ever tells you how bad it can really be. Sure you hear the odd story about a baby not able to sleep or suddenly morphing into a drool factory overnight but you really don’t worry about it too much. Until the magic teething fairy visits your house. She is the tooth fairy’s ugly stepsister and she is an utter b****! You may have put a sleeping angel to bed but thanks to the teething fairy a demon child will greet you in the morning. The teething fairy coats your lovely child in layers of drool and adds a nasty rash to her chin. Then she amps up the pain factor to ensure neither you or your child will enjoy the coming day. She smiles smugly to herself before flying away, giving you the finger as you sleep the sleep of the innocent, unsuspecting of the terror that will wake you in a few more hours (if you’re lucky).

My daughter has spent the last few days caked in drool with a temper as bad as any foul-mouthed sailor. If she knew how to curse I have no doubt that she would. For now she satisfies herself by screeching no at the top of her voice while we, her parents, cower in fear at the other end of the room. Nothing makes her happy. No I’m wrong TV and babybels make her happy. So as long as the TV is on or she is eating cheese she is…I won’t say fine but she is bearable. Is it wrong to allow your toddler to spend the day mindlessly watching TV? My mind says yes but my poor beaten spirit says no, you deserve a break. So honestly yes the TV has been on a little (a lot) more often than it usually would be. Yesterday was the longest day of my life as I counted down the hours until she could legitimately be put to bed.

My tiny lady isn’t the most gentle of souls anyway but she is usually a ball of fun in the middle of the tantrums, now there are just tantrums. I tell myself it’s just a phase, it’s just her teeth, it will pass…but part of me fears it will never pass, this endless stage of teething. So thank you teething fairy, thank you for the lovely gifts you have left us but I’m afraid next time you try to visit I will be waiting up to slam the window in your face!


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